In the spirit of two of my favourite blogging ladies, Madeleine Hamilton and Mandy writing to themselves and girls in the early twenties, I thought I’d write one too.
Dear Lily Mae in her early twenties,
I know you think you know everything there is to know in the world – but you don’t. Trust me, I know you’ve been through a lot already but it’s really not that much in comparison to what you will soon learn and know. Here are a few tips from your furutre self to try and to make this a happier time for you:
Stop hating everyone:
Hate is something that you carry, it is something that weighs you down. I know that saying you hate people makes you feel as if you have some power and control over the situation – but it doesn’t. That is a lie your brain tells you to stay on this destructive path. Forgive the many hims and the many hers, they are just human too. You’ll feel a lot better for it. And if you feel people have really, truly wronged you and humanity – just don’t have them in your life anymore than you need to. Simple.
Appreciate your family:
The saying you like, ‘you can choose your friends but you can’t choose your family’ is true – but who cares. All those years lost doesn’t mean you have to keep them lost. Family will be there unconditionally - well maybe not all of them, but most. Invite your Nan and your Father to the wedding, dammit.
Appreciate your friends:
I’m not talking about those people who you want to be your friends, I’m talking about the people who were actually your friends. Stop valuing people on their creativity, what they do and start valuing them for the good people that they are. Good people are valuable, any arsehole can be creative.
You’ve struggled with it over and over again and I know it’s hard, but stop it. You’ve put yourself in danger many times, you hate being not in control so why are you rendering yourself out of control? Actually, never-mind why, just stop it and you can work out all the other stuff after you’ve stopped it. It makes you sad, it makes you less than and worst of all it makes you hate yourself.
Stop hating you:
Stop hating your hair, stop hating you face, stop hating your nose, stop hating your forehead, stop hating your body. Your body is a really good one – it works, it’s never really been sick, you have all of your limbs and you are actually quite attractive. What makes a person beautiful – is confidence, so try that out instead of all the hair dyes, waxing, stupidly tight dresses. Oh and your pot belly, it’s super cute so stop torturing yourself over it.
Again, with the hating of people, but this is slightly different and I think this problem is bigger than most people give it credit for. People bond by bitching and this is no way to make a friend. It’s also no way to treat other people and never mind if they do it about you. It’s wasting your time and it’s wasting your brain power. Anyone who bitches, well – it says more about them than the people who they are bitching about. You know this so stop doing it.
You’re a young woman in one of the safest countries in the world – it has good weather, super sexy boys, super great people, a great standard of living, great lifestyle, just enjoy it and never-mind all that other stuff, it’s just stuff.
Nearly thirty year old Lily Mae.